Guillaume “Zifro” Desrat’s former blog

Stupid Jedi^W life mind trick

Filed under: f*cking life — Zifro September 5, 2006 @ 2:03 pm

I’m like that. When I have much things in mind, like my studies, my job, my future, my other activities (for which people rely on me), and… someone I care for, I make strange dreams, and if I’m more stressed, they turn into nightmares ; I had one recently.

The one was fucked up my mind, to the point I spent 54 hours without eating, not being able to, hardly working, a lot wondering why all those things mean. I was given a book to interprete dreams, maybe I’ll look into it what it means.
I suppose I already know what’s wrong : stress, and too much thinking about this girl.

Like everybody, I wonder what my future will be, I’d like to love, to be loved, to have a nice job, a nice home, good friends and so on.
Not like everybody, this girl I only know via Internet chats seems to be wonderful, worth knowning. Too bad I’m not on the same side of the Ocean.

My friend, and, for a while now, my project manager, has invited me to lunch at the kebab place to talk a bit.I told him everything, except for the job offer I refused, just saying I had “a big decision to take on Monday”.

We discussed the eventuality of arranging my shifts to keep on studying (the only courses left are weekwhile, most start at 6:30 pm, but some are half an hour or an hour earlier) ; as I figured, work is more important for him than my personal development and my studies.

I also asked him if the experience I gain working here will be an asset for me.
In his opinion, yes, it will be valued as a developer experience, even if our company deals with very specific clients and a technology (WinDEV ! Do I really have to repeat it ?!) I dislike hate.
In my opinion, it won’t be valued as a Ruby or Rails developer experience… if I had (and that’s what I’m looking for). What do you think about it ? Do you have any feedbacks having an experience or an internship undervalued because you weren’t using the same technology ?

Anyway, I think now he knows I’m considering leaving the company for another job. I didn’t say it, he probably understood. Great.

Now, as I have to clean my mind out of all those things, I left the IRC channels I used to come in, Google Talk as well.
I’m going to concentrate on Ruby and Rails code ; thinking about something else by coding is better (and healthier !) than start drinking heh ? ;-)

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